


Rooftops

by Stays_for_Skz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Platonic Relationships, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:42:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stays_for_Skz/pseuds/Stays_for_Skz
Summary: Seungmin feels lonely, but he'd never dare to actually open up to the others...
Kudos: 8





	Rooftops

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, this is Fanfiction 2!  
> I wrote this after Seungmin talked about keeping his worries to himself, cause he doesn't want to bother the older members. Idk, I was just sad about it so I wrote this.  
> It's also an older Fanfiction of mine and I didn't have the heart to remove Woojin soo yeah...  
> I don't know if anyone will actually like this but...I just hope so.  
> Anyway, hope you'll enjoy it♡  
> PS: English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

Seungmin feels lonely.  
It wasn't like he hadn't been before, he just hadn't really realized.  
But now that he was standing here, all alone outside on the rooftop, he knew he was.  
It didn't hurt, it was just this empty feeling that would arise in him whenever his emotions became to much.  
Many liked to asume that he was just less emotional than other people, than his members.  
But it wasn't true. He had just come to the realization that he had to be strong and happy and cheerfull. Someone had to. And so he was.  
He knew he could talk to them, Chan always encouraging him to speak about his worrys.  
However, Seungmin knew the stress and pressure that burdened all off his members, especially 3Racha. And because of that he didn't want to bother them any further. With useless stories about his life. He knew they had better things to do.  
When it came to people like Jeongin he just felt the need to be strong for them. They were only a year apart, yet Jeongin seemed to be so much younger, to Seungmin at least. He wanted to be a good friend to the younger, the one person to talk to. The one that would help him.  
And that's why Seungmin didn't talk about himself. At least not about the important things. Like his insecurities or the panic that sometimes overcame his whole body at night, being controlled by dozens of hate comments.  
Seungmin tried to talk. Sometimes he did, at times it was Chan other times Hyunjin, who would listen to him.  
But it was hard. Being sad, anxious or way to thoughtfull just didn't fit his image.  
And that's why he felt lonely. Not because he was, technically he was sorounded by 8 loud boys all day long, there were managers and staff members.  
But it wasn't that physicall loneliness.  
It was the loneliness deep within his heart.  
Overwhelming.  
Maybe he was just exagerating. He had made it, sure it hadn't been easy, but he had reached his goal.  
Being a singer; he should be happy, he knew others were still working hard in practice room's all over Korea, dreaming to be where he was.  
He should be gratefull.  
And thankfull. Because he was given this opportunity, not only to be a singer but also to be a part of this group, Stray Kids. It could have been anyone; but no, it was them, the nine of them.  
Woojin. Chan. Minho. Changbin. Hyunjin. Jisung. Felix. Jeongin. And Seungmin himself.  
He should be so damn happy because God was he lucky to be in one group with all these amazing people.  
Sure they weren't perfect, but who was. And they had become his everything, his friends, his brothers, his family.  
He seriously couldn't imagine life without them.  
Seungmin wrapped his arms around himself. It was cold, he should have brought a jacket.  
But he hadn't thought about that, just rushing out of the room, going "to the bathroom".  
Actually he just needed space and air. Maybe he was loud; didn't mean he did not need his space at times.  
Didn't need to be alone to at least try and let the emotion out; though it felt like he'd forgotten how to.  
The stars were surprisingly bright, but they didn't look as pretty as he remembered them to be.  
How come all those beautiful things felt so empty to him nowadays?  
Seungmin dropped his head, frustrated by the tears that were forming in his eyes.  
He knew he was sad, but his feelings seemed to be burried so deep inside of him.  
It was so hard to let go; hard to leave things behind; hard to move on.  
Hard to get better.  
Does better exist?  
Was this how it'd be? Forever?  
"Here you are" Seungmin didn't turn around, scared to break once he saw Changbins face. But he could hear the other walking over the rooftop.  
Seungmin closed his eyes. What to say to make the other one leave him alone? What to do to not break?  
A mean comment to send the other off?  
The smile and 'I'm okay'?  
He'd grown so used to all of these things, but right now his mind felt frozen.  
Maybe an excuse, need for fresh air or....  
"Do you want to be alone?" Changbins voice was quiet, carefull and Seungmin hated himself for worrying his friend.  
He wanted to be the one to annoy Changbin, tease him and play around with him. He wanted to be just that, an annoying but loving little brother.  
But he was a burden, another thing to worry about.  
Another bad thought in Changbins head.  
The older had so much to think about anyway, Seungmin didn't want to make it even worse.  
"Hey Seungminnie" Changbin mumbled and a sob shook the younger ones body as he heard the nickname.  
Quickly he tried to whipe his tears with his hands, but he couldn't stop anymore.  
His walls were broken and all his frustration bursted out, spilling out and he just let his hands and head hang down, knowing that it was over anyways.  
What to say, what to do?  
As the citylights and buildings turned blurry due to all the tears he could feel a strong pair of arms wrap itself around his waist.  
A warm chest prest against his back, a head resting on his shoulder.  
"You're so cold" Changbin said breathelessly and it send shivers down Seungmins spine.  
"I'm sorry" his voice was shaking.  
"Why?" Changbin answered, tightining his grib around the younger.  
"I'm sorry that I can't stay strong..." his voice came out high and unsteady and Seungmin was shocked by how broken it sounded.  
"Seungminnie..." Changbins hands gently stroked over Seungmins stomach, a weird touch, but somehow still comforting.  
"What does strong mean?" Changbin asked and his voice was so soft that Seungmin feelt like he might just break down. Sighing he leaned back against the older.  
"I don't know "  
"So how do you know that you are not strong then?" Changbin asked, Seungmin had already expected this answer.  
"I...You know....Strong People are...Look people like Chan and you...You guys are strong. You are always working. Always. And you always have that passion. You never give in. All those things you do for Stray Kids...I...-"  
"So do you."Changbin answered before Seungmin could continue.  
"I don't. I feel miserable. I should be the happiest person alive, should be so damn gratefull. But I'm feeling empty. And sometimes sad...or angry I don't know.  
The worst thing is that I feel lonely. And I shouldn't, because I got you guys; but I just do. Right now I feel like I'll never get better and I hate myself. Look at me, I can't even talk to you, while facing you because I'm so afraid" Seungmin felt like hitting himself.  
Why had he just said that? Was he stupid?  
"You know...Let me tell you about my defenition of strong.  
I think...there are different kinds of strong. When you do something you were afraid of doing than you are strong. When you talk about something you were afraid to talk about, then you are strong.  
And you were afraid, weren't you?"  
"Mh.." Seungmin mumbled.  
"And that's brave. See talking about emotions...It isn't easy for everyone you know. People like Chan are strong right? They work hard, and stay happy and motivated. But you and I both know that he has bad times too right?"  
Seungmin nodded thoughtfully.  
"And does that make him weak? Look, I don't know, I'm not you....But Seungmin, you are always practicing, trying to get better. And you are smiling, and teasing us, to keep us happy. You never break that cute savage image.  
And now you're having a bad time. But that doesn't change any of the things I said before. And that alone shows how strong you are."  
Seungmin looked up at the stars. Something deep inside of him felt different. At least a little bit.  
"I know there's more right? But you don't want to talk about it right?" Seungmin nodded, slightly creeped out by Changbins mindreading skills.  
"Well...you don't need to talk about it. As I said there are different kinds of strong Seungmin. The thing is...You are. You are very strong. And...I won't force you to talk to me but....Sometimes talking helps."  
Seungmin nodded but he didn't move. He wasn't ready yet.  
After a few seconds Changbin gently untagled his arms and Seungmin nearly whined at the sudden cold.  
"I think I'll go downstairs again. Take your time and...yeah if you need someone to talk to; we are always here for you."  
Seungmin could hear Changbin walk back to the door. He took a deep breath, whiping away the tears and looking down on the city. For some reason the lights seemed to be warmer again.  
"Ah Seungmin? You'll get better...I promise."  
He heard the door close and a smile moved onto Seungmins face. Things probably wouldn't get better in one day.  
But eventually they would.


End file.
